Well, it has been a few weeks since I’ve had the chance to go off on things that bother me, not only from the world of sports, and believe me, there are plenty of those to go around, but from the world we live in. So, here goes.
Why can’t people who are asked to sing the National Anthem do it justice and sing it like it was written?
Cindy and I went to a Georgia baseball game last weekend. The way they’re playing, almost anything else would have been more entertaining but it was a beautiful afternoon (the first hint of Spring) and she promised we could go to the Varsity afterwards.
A young lady was introduced and she proudly walked to home plate and began singing. She had a good enough voice but, I swear, it took her almost four minutes to finish a song that could have been sung in less than one. She sang it like a dirge instead of like a march, which is how Francis Scott Key wrote it. The Star Spangled Banner is supposed to be played or sung crisply and, for goodness sakes, sing the notes like they are written. Please cut out the runs and trills that you think make it sound good. It doesn’t!
Until you get to be as good as Whitney Houston, sing it like it’s written. And one more thing, if you are attending an event where the Anthem is being played, stop what you’re doing, quit talking, stand at attention, men take off your caps, and show respect to our flag.
Who’ll be the first manager to be fired this year? That was a poll question that I saw recently on an afternoon sports show. Isn’t that just a little cruel to those on those proverbial hot seats? They have enough to worry about trying to put together a respectable team and some yokel on a sports show is taking bets on when they’ll get fired. Of course, the way that front offices change managers these days, it’s extremely difficult to keep up with just who the managers are. As closely as I follow the game, I’d be hard-pressed to name half of the active managers today.
One sure bet is that it will not be Bobby Cox. Bobby has announced that this will be his last year with the Braves. This same show speculated that he will be back with another team in less than a year. I don’t think so.
I think he has had a great run and while I know that he has his detractors, I’m not one of them. I think he is one of the best managers ever. He is definitely a player’s manager and maybe that has been some of his problems — he’s not tough enough with them and so when it comes to playoff time, the Braves teams of the past have not had the killer instinct that is necessary. It’s anybody’s guess who his replacement will be although there are already rumors that Tony LaRussa is fed up with the ownership in St. Louis and is ready to move elsewhere. Could do worse trading Cox for LaRussa.
Why is it so difficult for people to use turn signals? Do they not teach the use of these in driving schools anymore? Maybe it is because most drivers today are too busy drinking their coffee, putting on makeup, talking on their cell phones, or texting to worry about something so mundane as observing driving courtesy and obeying traffic laws.
All this talk about health care reform is taking its toll. It’s making me sick!
Today’s the start of the Masters. I wonder if Tiger will survive the onslaught of cameras and microphones enough to focus on golf.
I refuse to watch Dancing With The Stars this year in spite of Erin Andrews, Pam Anderson, and Kate Gosselin being on because of a certain loud-mouthed Bengals receiver. That’s how much I dislike him. And while we’re on the topic of TV, what is the most accurate title for a TV show on the air this year? Lost — because I certainly am.
What do Ben Roethlisberger and Ray Lewis have in common? They both are using Ed Garland, an Atlanta attorney, to be their defense counsel. Big Ben shouldn’t worry — if Garland does for him what he did for Lewis, he’ll never serve a day even if he is guilty.
Some of the truest statements ever made are:
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Bad decisions make good stories.
3. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
4. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet that on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.
5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.
6. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
7. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk who thought he was being cute from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters!
8. Nothing is more frustrating than that moment during an argument when you realize that you are actually wrong.
The day after I wrote the column citing Merlin Olsen as the greatest ever to wear the number 74, we heard the news that he had died.
I always thought him to be a gentleman and he was one of the best on-air analysts I’ve ever listened to.
My sympathies go out to his family.
Randy Blalock is a columnist for the Barrow Journal. You can reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.